I first wrote this piece in 2013 as I was healing from adrenal exhaustion.  Being the rather driven person that I am I can say it has been a real journey to try to slow down and make time for myself.  When you hit bottom though and your body has finally said enough then there is no choice but to learn the lessons.  Slowing down is not something I can say I have mastered at all but at least I have learned to listen to my body better and recognize when to downshift if I can.  I have learned a lot in the process to include changes in mindset, lifestyle changes, and herbs to use to help support the process.  I have been able to share much of what I have learned with my clients who also struggle with the same issues. I understand their journey because I have been there.  For many we have pushed ourselves so hard we don't even know how to take care of ourselves or where to begin.  Or we just need a little inspiration or someone else to tell us it is "ok" to spend time taking care of ourselves.  For those of you who need that nudge I am re-sharing this piece to remind you of the little things you can do to nourish yourself.  It is a blessing to yourself and others to be as physically and emotionally healthy as you can be so that you can continue to be the gift that you are to your family and community.

One of the things I learned this past year is that I was failing to nourish myself.  I was failing to take time for myself.  Things like that tend to happen when you have 3 kids especially when they are young.  The reality is that they need a lot of things!  Help getting dressed. Nudged to brush teeth and get dressed. Food. Help reaching things. Drinks of water. Spills cleaned up. Food. Having their butts wiped. Cuddles. Books read.  Food.  You get the idea. It is never ending and then at one point you realize it is 3:00 and you haven’t eaten your own lunch yet.  As mothers we put ourselves LAST often.  But here is the kicker if we push too hard we end up sick or even worse in adrenal exhaustion and then things come to a screeching halt. Why can’t we take the time for ourselves before we are energetically bankrupt?  Well the answer is often that we don’t think we deserve it until the dishes are washed, the kids are bathed, and life is perfect which it will never be.  So here is a list of things to consider doing to take care of yourself in the coming year.  Pick one or pick 5!  Your mental and physical health and your family will all be the better for it.

1.  Eat regular meals at the same time every day.  Your body will be so happy that you did! It will begin to even think you care about it and honestly will be there for it and listen to it when it tells you things like to slow down when it needs a break or is ill.
2. Drink a nourishing herbal infusion such as nettles or oatstraw.  Your nerves and energy levels will reach new heights.
3. Eat a warm and nourishing breakfast no matter the season.  A warmed up pop tart is not what we are talking about here.  Oatmeal, soup, eggs, something hearty that isn’t just carbs.
4. Squeeze in some time to do 10 minutes of Yoga or Qi Kong every day.  It is amazing what 10 minutes can do for your mood and energy!  If you really want to show your body you care for it consider 30 minutes!
5. Write a thank you card to someone even if it is only in your mind.  When you are grateful for others you begin to appreciate yourself more as well.
6. Try not to give all your energy to activities that fail to nourish you.  This could be a volunteer role that no longer fills your cup or it could be fighting with people on Facebook. Not that I know ANYONE that wastes time on senseless activities like that on Facebook. J
7. Find a new activity that you are passionate about and give yourself the right to spend time to continue to learn and grow as a human being on this divine journey. Maybe it is knitting or maybe it is belly dancing or maybe it is learning about herbs but find something that brings you joy.  *This is not only good for you but it is good for your children to see that learning never ends and there is joy to be had in this world no matter your age. 
8. Find a community to be a part of.  It can be a virtual community or a real one.  Maybe it is a special chat group or maybe it is a group that gets together to share meals but it is your people and you care about them and they care about you.  Keep looking until you find what suits you and if you don’t find what you are looking for then create it yourself. 
9. Learn about adaptogen herbs which help your body deal with stress and our busy lives.  Find one you like and commit to taking it.
10. Take time to journal and reflect on your journey. Or simply to take a quiet moment to reflect mentally.
11. Take a moment to brew yourself a cup of tea every morning or evening and drink it while you are sitting down and doing nothing else.
12. Give and get hugs as often as you comfortably can.  So many people are hungry for love and connection.
13. Speak your truth as often as you can.  Why?  Because you matter and your truth is as valid as anyone else’s.  If you don’t value what you think then why should anyone else?
14. Try to let anger go.  Try to not engage in frustrating activities when you can avoid them. Why?  Because it eats away at your energy yet produces nothing.  Learn to let go of these things as best you can.
15. Commit to spending 15 minutes every day outside.  Walk, garden, sit, do what you choose but do it with intention to nurture yourself.
16. Consider walking outside without shoes on to ground yourself to the earth.  Soak in the energy of the earth and the sun or the moon. 
17. Plant something and visit it regularly and watch as it grows.
18. Get to know one neighbor well. Someone who one day may need you or whom you might need to call upon.  It will give you a sense of peace, security and connection.
19. Make a new friend.  Reach out to someone who you meet and say hello not because you need anything from them but because you recognize their humanity and their beauty as another soul on this difficult journey we call life.
20. Give up measuring sticks.  Quit measuring yourself against all your friends and family and Pinterist.  Mentally burn that stick every time you see it rearing its head.
21. Empower someone.  Lift them up.  Support them in their role. Maybe it is a smile to a fellow mother having a rough time. Maybe it is helping a child fundraise for something they feel strongly about.  Empower someone to feel awesome about themselves and what they are doing and some of that sparkly glitter of love will land on you as well.
22. Love yourself. No matter what you did or failed to do that day.  Simply love you for who you are.  For your spirit and your light.

 
 
 
 
By Kate Bodmann, Land of Milk and Honey Herbs 2013

I used to look at people and assume they were all healthy and mostly content with themselves.  Smiling faces, put together appearances; we can all assume that their lives are perfect from the outside.  It is easy to compare their outward perfection to our internal criticisms.  But the reality is that physically most people have large or small issues that afflict them.  It might be exhaustion, digestive upset, hormone issues, aches and pains that we simply don’t see. 

And we all have emotional and mental health issues large and small too.  Life is a journey of understanding ourselves and others and there are challenges that test us all, both peaks and valleys.   Most of us don’t coast through life. 

When clients worry that they aren’t coping well, that they are too sensitive to all that is going on in the world, that they are anxious about their kids or their families, or that they have too many fears;  I don’t feel a need to label that or judge that.   They may call it anxiety or depression and you can see that it weighs on them.

I have told clients that they have a mental illness called life.  I am not trying to diminish how mental illness affects someone’s life but more to say you are not alone and you are not broken.  Our world is a bit broken and you are doing your best to deal with the crazy.  Honestly anyone who is at complete peace with our whole world can’t be sane.  Why?  Because we live in a crazy, busy world with high expectations.  Generations ago parents didn’t have to read up on GMO’s, fair trade, sustainable living, pipeline leaks, environmental disasters, political unrest, foreign diseases,  economies of other countries, vaccination schedules, this diet or that diet.  Their brains weren’t bombarded with “reality” shows and “news” about things that aren’t news.  They had television shows that made them laugh like Johnny Carson and Carol Burnett.  No high drama ER shows or cop shows to deplete their adrenals.  No Facebook to compare lives with others.  No Pinterest to compare super mom skills.  If you brought the best brownies to the bake sale you didn’t have to take a picture and post in anywhere.  No one knew if your birthday cake was a flop unless they were there.













  

Every week I have beautiful mothers come into my clinic who need a little boost and who are judging themselves a bit too harshly.  Every week I have clients who tell me they have depression, anxiety, or low self-worth.  They may think they are too heavy, not getting enough done or not a good enough mother.  I will tell you that these women are usually very compassionate with their children, working their tails off to work and to take care of their homes and families, and they are absolutely beautiful.  But they often don’t see that. They see their faults and not their accomplishments.

This fast paced life and feeling like you can't keep up or measure up can lead to depression, anxiety, and more.  Herbs can surely help but really as an herbalist my job isn't just about recommending herbs.  It is about lifestyle changes that help others to improve their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health and achieving balance is a large part of that.

We need to practice more compassion and grace towards ourselves.  We need to take a moment and reassess what is most important in our lives.  This might mean slowing down or letting something go and we need to allow themselves to do that without judgement.   Honestly one of the hardest things I think about mental illness is how alone and separate it makes people feel.  In Cherokee medicine those are two of the conditions that cause depression.  You can feel alone and separate even in a group if they are not loving and supportive.  The second hardest thing with mental illness is to feel that there is no way out.  It is a journey but there is always a way out.  Sometimes those changes take time but only you can guide your life where you would like it to go.  And let me tell you that you are not alone in this struggle.  Here is one easy task to start with.  This is a simple task and will lift up yourself and others as well.

 1.  Smile at every other mother you come across if you can. She needs that support as much as you do and possibly more! 
 

My next blog post will have more thoughts about what you can do to try to have more balance and joy in your life.